You’ve always been the one others could count on. The one who jumps in, helps out, gets it done.
You raised your hand when no one else would. You stayed late, stepped up, gave your best… even when it cost you your sleep, your space, and your sanity.
You powered through exhaustion and kept smiling. But lately?
You’re running on fumes.
And when you try to fix it, the advice you hear is always the same: “Try harder.” “Be more consistent.” “You just need more willpower.”
But what if willpower isn’t the issue?
What if the real missing piece in your wellness isn’t a lack of motivation… but a loss of worthiness?
Why You Feel Pulled in Every Direction (and Still Last on the List)
Midlife women are exhausted, not just from doing too much but from believing they have to.
In my book It’s Your Turn, I named it for what it is: Sacrifice Syndrome.
It’s that quiet, conditioned belief that your worth is measured by how little you ask for and how much you give.
It’s how so many of us were raised.
Be helpful. Be kind. Be selfless.
Be the one who holds it all together.
So we became that woman.
The one who signs up. The one who shows up.
The one who holds the glue, the schedules, the emotions, the meals, the everything.
Until one day, she looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognize herself.
It’s More Than Being Tired. It’s Losing Your Sense of Self.
You’ve always been capable. You’ve figured it out. You’ve adjusted, adapted, over-functioned.
But now?
It’s more than being tired. It’s losing your sense of self.
You open your calendar and feel dread instead of direction.
You feel irritated by things you used to tolerate.
You cancel your own needs again to keep the peace.
You feel like you’re always “on,” and yet never quite enough.
And the world keeps whispering that the fix is more willpower.
Wake up earlier. Eat cleaner. Try harder. Be better.
But willpower isn’t the missing piece.
Worthiness is.
My Client, Denise’s Turning Point
Denise was used to overdelivering. She managed her household, supported her aging parents, and accepted every volunteer opportunity, all while trying to fit in workouts and green smoothies.
But she was constantly exhausted, bloated, and snapping at the people she loved most. She came to our first call and said, “I just need a better routine. More discipline.”
In our time working together, the one thing she said she really needed…
Permission. Not from anyone else but herself.
She told me that she needed to stop proving, stop performing, and start listening.
And that began with a single shift:
She paused.
She didn’t just download another plan. She took five minutes to sit in stillness and ask, “What do I need today?”
That one question became a new rhythm.
Now, she eats to nourish, not restrict.
Moves her body when it feels good, not to punish it.
And says no with clarity and kindness.
The Worthiness Reset: 3 Ways to Start
- Notice your Helium Hand.
The Helium Hand is the reflexive yes we raise before we’ve even checked in with ourselves.
Next time you feel the urge to volunteer, agree, or fix, pause. Ask yourself:
“Am I doing this because I want to or because I feel like I should?”
- Interrupt the Sacrifice Syndrome.
Catch the voice that says “you’re fine” or “you can rest later.”
That voice isn’t your truth. It’s a script you inherited.
You don’t have to earn your care. You’re allowed to need support too. - Rest as a Radical Act.
Instead of waiting for permission, give yourself five minutes today to stop.
No multitasking. No scrolling. Just rest.
Sit on the porch. Breathe. Put your hand on your chest and remind yourself:
I am allowed to pause.
This Isn’t About Saying No to Everyone. It’s About Saying Yes to You.
If your hand is always up, if your needs are always last, if your nervous system is begging for a different way…
This is your sign to step back into your life with honesty and intention.
You don’t need another fix.
Remember that you are worthy of a different rhythm.
Ready to practice a new kind of support and let go of the guilt?
My free pocket coaching guide walks you through 3 practical, grace-filled steps to start saying no without guilt and saying yes to yourself again.
Get the 3 Steps to Say No Without the Guilt
