The Reclaimer: Why What Worked Before Doesn't Work Anymore
Same diet. Same workout. Same way of pushing through when your energy dipped, because it always worked before. And then, quietly, it stopped. In this episode, Shari Biery talks to the Reclaimer, the woman whose body has been changing in ways nobody explained, and who's been pushing harder when what she actually needs is to listen differently. She breaks down what's really happening hormonally, why pushing harder often backfires, and one small way to start listening to your body again.
Key Takeaways
- The body you had at 35 and the body you have now are not the same body, hormonally or biologically. That's not a judgment, it's fact.
- Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone all shift in midlife, and they influence far more than reproduction: fat storage, muscle, blood sugar, stress response, and sleep.
- Pushing harder often makes things worse. More intensity or restriction on an already-stressed nervous system raises cortisol, disrupts sleep, and causes the body to hold on rather than let go.
- What works in this season usually looks like less, not more: gentler, more rest, more consistency, less intensity, nearly the opposite of what most of us were taught.
- The strategies that worked in your 30s were built for a different hormonal baseline, like using a map drawn ten years ago. The map isn't wrong, the terrain changed.
- Listening to your body means treating its signals, energy, sleep, mood, digestion, as data instead of obstacles to push through.
Resources
- Take the free Midlife Spark Type Quiz: https://www.sharibiery.com/quiz
- It's Your Turn, Shari's book: https://www.sharibiery.com/its-your-turn-book
- Follow Shari on Substack: https://sharibiery.substack.com/
Transcript
That's Not Failure. That's Information.
[00:00:06] Shari Biery: Maybe you've been doing the same thing that has worked for years, and your body has stopped responding the way it used to.
That's not failure, that's information. And today, we're going to talk about what it's actually telling you.
Welcome and Series Intro
[00:00:26] Shari Biery: You're listening to It's Your Turn with Shari Biery. I'm Shari, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, bestselling author, speaker, and creator of the C.A.L.M. Method. Each week, this show is about taking your turn in midlife, embracing new purpose, new passions, and new possibilities. New episodes drop weekly, so be sure to subscribe so you don't miss one. Now, let's get started.
If you're just joining us, this is part of the Coming Home series. There are 7 episodes on finding your way back to yourself in midlife. We are in Episode 5 of 7, and each of these episodes stands on its own, so wherever you're starting, you're completely fine, you're in the right place.
Today, we're talking about one of the other quiz types. We talked last week about the Giver. This week, we're talking about the Reclaimer. And we'll talk about the Seeker next week. But the Reclaimer is who we're focused on today, and she's the woman whose body has been changing in ways nobody has explained, and who's been pushing harder when what she actually needs is to start listening differently.
If this is you, welcome. You're not alone.
You've Been Doing Everything Right
[00:01:55] Shari Biery: I'm going to give you a scenario here, and just see if any of this hits for you.
You feel like you've been doing everything right. Maybe you've been on the same food plan for years, the same workout routine, the same way of pushing through when your energy dips, because pushing through has always worked before. Maybe you figured out a long time ago what your body needed, and you've been running on that knowledge ever since.
And then gradually, it stopped working. It wasn't dramatic, not all at once, it just quietly started changing. Maybe your weight shifted even though nothing in your habits changed. Maybe your sleep got lighter. Maybe your energy became more unpredictable in a way that didn't track with how much rest you got. Maybe you're even pushing harder at the gym, and you feel worse, not better.
And maybe, if this happened to you, you went to the doctor, and they said your labs are normal.
Now, do you start thinking maybe you're the problem? Or that you've lost the discipline you used to have? Or maybe you're just saying, you know what, this is part of getting older, this is what it's supposed to be like.
I want to stop you right there. Because if you're going down that squirrel hole, your body's changed and no one has told you why.
What's Actually Happening
[00:03:59] Shari Biery: We have to understand what's actually happening here. The body you had at 35 and the body you have now are not the same body. I don't mean that as a judgment about how you look. I mean it literally, biologically. The hormonal environment your body is operating in right now is fundamentally different from what it was a decade ago.
Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone are all shifting. And these aren't just reproductive hormones, they influence how your body stores fat, how it builds and maintains muscle, how it handles blood sugar, how it responds to stress, how it regulates your sleep.
The strategies that worked in your 30s were built for a body with a different hormonal baseline. They were designed, often without anyone realizing it, to work with the estrogen levels you had then. And when those levels change, the strategies need to change too. And again, it's not a failure of willpower. This is biology.
And here's the part that most women never get told, or never hear this: pushing harder often makes it worse.
That's right. Pushing harder often makes everything worse. When you're already running on a stressed nervous system, adding more intensity, more restriction, more force signals to your body that it needs to hold on rather than to let go. Cortisol levels rise. Sleep suffers. And what happens? The body digs in even more.
The approach that works in this season usually looks like less, not more. It looks gentler, not harder. More rest, not less. More consistency, not more intensity. Which is almost the exact opposite of what most of us were told.
The Outdated Map
[00:06:37] Shari Biery: So, there's a gap that surfaces here, and I want to offer you a different way to look at this, about what's been happening.
Imagine you've been using a map that was drawn ten years ago. The map isn't wrong. It was accurate when it was made. But maybe the terrain has shifted, new roads were built, different landmarks. And you've been getting frustrated that the map isn't getting you where you need to go, without realizing that the map itself is outdated.
That's what most women in midlife are experiencing. It's not a failure of effort. It's not a loss of discipline. It's a map that was built for a different version of their body, applied to a body that has moved on.
So I wonder if any of this is making sense for you right now. Not as an explanation for everything, but just as a possibility worth considering.
What if you haven't been failing? What if you've just been working from the wrong map?
What Listening to Your Body Actually Means
[00:07:47] Shari Biery: I hear a phrase a lot, and I say it myself, listen to your body. And I think for a lot of women, it sounds vague, almost meaningless.
But here's what it actually means in practice. Your body is constantly sending signals. Energy levels. Sleep quality. How you feel after you eat. How you feel after you move. What makes you feel better, and what makes you feel worse.
Most of us have been trained to override those signals. We push through fatigue, we ignore the bloating, we dismiss the mood drop. We follow the plan regardless of how the plan is making us feel.
Listening to your body means starting to treat those signals as data instead of obstacles. Not following every passing sensation, but actually paying attention to the patterns. What your body is consistently asking for, and what it's consistently resisting.
That's a different relationship with your body than most of us were taught to have.
One Small Step
[00:09:13] Shari Biery: Something I want to invite you to try this week is to notice one signal your body is sending today. Not to fix it, not to figure out what it means, not to add it to a list of things that need addressing, just notice it. Just to say, I see it. I hear you.
Maybe it's that afternoon energy dip. Maybe it's the way your sleep has shifted. Maybe it's something you've been dismissing for months as just stress, or just aging, or just the way things are now. Just name it, though. That's the beginning of a different kind of conversation with your body.
Coming Up Next
[00:09:59] Shari Biery: Next week, we're going to talk about something a little different. Not the body, and not the calendar, it's about the quiet question that lives underneath both of those. The one you might not have said out loud, but you've probably felt it.
If you haven't taken the Midlife Spark Type Quiz, go ahead and take it. Depending on if you are a Giver, you'll want to listen to last week's episode. If you are a Reclaimer, you can re-listen to this one and take that action step. And then next week, we're going to talk about the Seeker.
I want to thank you for spending time with me today. If something really hit for you today, or you were talking with that friend of yours who says, oh my gosh, this is me too, share this episode. This is what changes the conversation. We get the resources we need by women helping other women.
So, until next time, keep taking your turn.
Where to Go From Here
If this episode named something you recognize in your own body, the Midlife Spark Type Quiz is a good next step. It takes three minutes and gives you a clearer picture of where you are right now. Take the quiz here.
Keep Taking Your Turn
New episodes of It's Your Turn with Shari Biery drop weekly on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Substack. Subscribe so you don't miss one.
This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional with any questions about your health.
This show notes page was created with the assistance of AI based on the recorded episode transcript. All content has been reviewed for accuracy and reflects what was shared on air.
